Chuh, and monkeys might fly out of my butt.

But in all seriousness, I did in fact attend a Stephanie Meyer Book Club meeting at one of the local Borders bookstores last night.

I know, I know. What the motherfucking holiest of holy crows was I thinking? But I assure you, I have not converted to the dreaded srs bsns faction. It actually started a couple weeks ago, when I was casually browsing the bargain section and surreptitiously avoiding staring at the Twilight display at the front of the store; it proved difficult as there was a rather hilarious-looking figure standing there flipping the pages of one of the *dazzling* books. I'm not one to pass judgement quickly (pssh, yeah right), but this guy was one for the record books. Picture a freakishly tall Goth kid who, despite his stature and gangliness, sports a nice pair of man-boobs.

I was just about to disappear around the corner to conceal the stream of lulz that threatened to break free when I heard a voice on the PA system, announcing to all the blessed souls in the vicinity that the Stephanie Meyer Book Club would be convening within a few minutes to discuss the author's best-selling piece of literary excrement, Twilight.

How could I resist, I ask you, how? Of course I hightailed it over to the meeting area and sat through nearly an hour of awkward introductions and musings on the first book. I was hoping for some real srs bsns Twimom action, but sadly no. There were a couple of high school girls (I could tell because they were dressed in tight-fitting baby t's and studded belts), some older girls that could have been around my age-- they were quite nice. One of them was tall and chubby, but had a totally contagious laugh, and the other was cute, well-dressed, and sarcastic. They seemed the least srs bsns out of everyone. Then there were some littler girls with their moms (who, sadly, just hovered in the back), and one whose Billy Black-ish mom did actually (though somewhat grudgingly) provide input. Then there was a very shy, strange looking woman with a speech impediment, some old ladies that worked there, and the "group leaders" who were very flustered; one of them, the one in charge of the manga section (ayiyi) also loved the shit out of Harry Potter and we shared an air-five when I mentioned I was Team Edward, especially after having seen the gloriousness that is RPattz in the movie trailer. And of course Gothic Man-Boobs. The only male.

So, after realizing I hadn't gained any new comprehension of the novel based on the group's answers to such questions as "So... what's your favorite part in the book?" (the most common response: "I, um, like all of it. It's all, like, so awesome. Like, I don't think I can choose, cuz, like the whole thing, is just... awesome. So, yeah, like all of it.") I really wasn't sure if I'd return. I still hadn't decided yesterday afternoon, what with my mama in a state of convalescence, but she urged me too and I finally relented. It was much of the same last night, only minus the old ladies and little girls and plus another Hot Topic frequent buyer friend of Man-Boobs. Who said nothing. Things got a bit less srs bsns when some jokes were thrown around about Smeyer's fashion sense (I was the one who made fun of it. Then the cool Manga girl said "She's Mormon, though" as if that excuses it. I'm not sure if she was joking, and I wasn't sure how to respond, but at that moment one of the other leaders said in a small voice that she actually owned a long, khaki skirt... and I felt so sorry for her lack of self-realization that it killed my lulz.), and when we were asked for our fave quotes. Mine? Guess.



Do I dazzle you?

Frequently.



It didn't get as many laughs as I expected, but it did get some. I remember a lot of philosophical-type discussions on Edward's nature and Carlisle's beliefs. And for some reason we started talking about Failcob, and I realized I didn't hate him quite as much as I did before. I mean, he's 16, in love with someone he'll never be able to get with even though he thinks he's the one for her; I get it. I've been through it (only not with a plain, boring, whiny bitch like Bella).
I really just hate that bitch, Bella. How could she do that to a hottie werewolf like Jacob? And how could she even think of denying what she has with Edward?

Ah, but I could go on about this forever. I'll save it for the next meeting, where I'll try my darndest to stop trying to sound smart and instead bring the lulz.

Fuck, I guess I have to read "New Moon" again. Goddamn.

k, so I spent much of my day on ONTD due to the truly epic Twilight Tuesday ("epic", "so fucking unintentionally hilarious"-- same difference) post. For srs, I saw it at 11 am, and navigated away at around 5 pm, with some intermittent time spent on eating, going to the bathroom, and walking the dog.

Needless to say, I'm a bit sick of Twilight at the moment.

idk what else I should write about, though. I don't really want to talk about my mom having to get a biopsy on a suspicious mole on the bottom of her foot today. Then I start thinking about worst case scenarios, and those are really fucking scary.

I also don't really want to think about how my best friend called me after not having spoken to each other in over 2 months, and how I didn't pick up. I feel like such a fug person; how could I just sit and watch his name on my cell phone light up and do nothing but stare at it? I know why: I didn't want to have to answer and hear about his awesome time at NYU where he gets to meet people like Sean Penn on a weekly basis, socialize with hipsters, do 'shrooms with his new best friend, and probably get all the ass he could ever want. All the while I'm sitting here in the midwest, utterly alone and having nothing to focus on except... well, nothing.

Ugh, now I'm getting whiny. I know I shouldn't, I sort of imposed this on myself. I typically like being alone, too. Maybe if he leaves me a voicemail, I'll grow so homesick/overcome with longing to hear his voice again that I'll have to call him back and spew the truth about my sad excuse for a life. And make the decision to visit NYC next christmas, so I can have all the typical college experiences I sure as hell am not having here.

blah blah blah, idk. I think I'll go outside and watch the full moon for a while. After I watch the "Casino Night" episode of The Office that's on right now (though watching Jim/Pam might make me feel even more emo.)

depends on the story and how it interprets the lore.

Based on traditional vampire/werewolf lore, I'd have to say werewolves.
I also have/had the biggest crush on Remus Lupin, so I'm biased.

Things I did today:

got up uncharacteristically early
got online to check MTV blog for what I'd hoped would be a worthwhile Twilight post (FAIL!!)
got onto LJ to make fun of said epic fail of a Twilight post
walked dog
LJ
LJ
LJ
ate something
LJ
shower
LJ
etc.




Geez, for someone who has just started this seems a little much, however I'm trying to justify it by telling myself that I'm attempting to learn basic HTML/web design. Because I really don't know any; the only thing I've retained from my high school webmastering class being "< b r >" . That was an awesome class, all we did was watch youtube videos and order pizza.

Sidenote: Good on high school teachers for entering that most noble of professions.

Anyway, in the past few days I've managed to learn myself how to make several spiffy icons, found and implemented a new layout and added some tweaks (which for a technology 'tard like me is kind of a big deal), and made a few macros for twatlight once I get the cojones (and entries, and friends, etc etc) to apply to the group. Again, my excuse: I need to put the $1000s worth of image editing software (required for art school) to use.

oh boy, my first ever entry. which no one will be reading.

Is it sad that I've been tiptoe-ing around making an entry for weeks now? I just hadn't the faintest idea of what to write. I made this fucking LJ ages ago (and by ages I mean 3 months or so. but time has a funny way of passing incredibly slowly when you have to attend class and be studious and shit like that) but nothing really interesting ever happened. Nothing I would bother reading anyway, if I were an outsider.

Oh, this is quickly devolving into a drawn out, whiny diatribe on the lack of purpose in my life. I was afraid that would happen.

Perhaps I should just do the normal thing and tell the larger web-o-sphere about little ol' me:

My name is Alejandra (the Spanish version of Alexandra. If your brain starts to short circuit trying to think of the correct pronunciation, don't worry about it. You're either blessed with the skillz or you aren't.)

I'm a college student, majoring in art at the moment, but my allegiance to the discipline wavers constantly. I've been seriously considering English lately, were it not for the fact that I absolutely hate doing work.

I love learning things, but I don't particularly like schooling. I would say some pragmatic shit about being opposed to structure, and systems, and THE MAN, but the truth of it is I would much rather spend my time doing absolutely nothing concerning my future. I always wonder if it's normal to feel like being sick when thinking about the future, and if that feeling will ever go away, or if it's just in my cracked-out nature.

I have many loves in life, among them: breezy days, chocolate, my tattered pair of purple converse, watching television for hours on end, snuggling with my dog, drawing (when I fucking feel like it), reading (ditto), dicking around on the internet, and general silliness.

I like to think I have a fantastic and adaptable sense of humor, probably born out of my insane need to please everybody. Conversely, I have a notorious temper that can flare up without warning, especially in regards to my poor family; and I always feel like an absolute monster afterward. I'm also terrible at holding grudges.

I don't know what else to say right now. I suppose I'll reveal more about myself gradually and hopefully not in scary and/or boring-as-fuck ways. I absolutely hate boring shit.

I also like to swear quite a lot, so if you're opposed, I apologize in advance. But for realz, if one is an adult and is srsly offended by swearing, one needs to loosen the fuck up.